There are certainly cheaper ways to get your kicks than Financial Domination. You could admire the feel of a nice pair of stockinged feet on your skin, or enjoy a few dozen lashings from your girlfriend’s trusty paddle, you know, the one she calls Spanky. Financial domination is a completely different animal altogether. The thrill of financial domination, or FinDom as it is known, doesn’t come from the stinging sensation of a stiff smack on your butt, rather the stinging sensation of your bank account being systematically and consensually emptied by the Domme of your choice. But that’s to simplify this intricate and interpersonal fetish, and like every fetish, FinDom deserves it’s due respect and a better understanding of the many facets within.
PayPig or Money Slave?
The best way to understand something is to speak to the people who live it, somebody like Richard, a thirty something male who lives in a very alpha world, and somebody who, in all aspects of his life takes a very alpha masculine role. Is he your typical ‘pay pig’ or ‘money slave’? Well that depends on what ‘typical’ is? Like any fetish, those drawn to FinDom come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Richard very kindly told us his story, beginning with when he realized he was submissive, “I knew something was different at 8 years old, I didn’t understand until I was 13 years old. I used to make slave bets with girls on my street and purposely lose”. It’s all very well realizing you’re submissive, but was it easy to indulge that submissive side? “No, because I’m extremely dominant in my work life, personal life and around friends. It’s something that I always needed to be kept hidden because of the low regard you’re held in as a submissive man”.
And that’s the reality of it. We live in a testosterone stuffed climate where world leaders are dueling with dubious handshakes to assert their masculinity, where UFC fighters are kicking six bells of crap out of each other every weekend before baying crowds to prove who is the stronger, more dominant gladiator. As a man, to admit you are sexually submissive is seen as a weakness, or some kind of flaw of personality when in fact it’s like any other human dynamic within a personal relationship. Because these ARE personal relationships. And it’s that personal aspect of the interaction between the players that leads ultimately to sexual and cerebral gratification, whether it’s being collared and led around on a leash, or divulging your bank account details so your Domme can purchase the latest Louboutin heels. They are very different acts but in an emotional sense they are much the same thing. Richard explains, “The arousal from the financial aspect is the smile and upbeat response you get from the Domme knowing she’s happy. Knowing you made her smile, even if it’s for a moment. I’m not drawn towards Financial Domination I’m drawn to a Goddess that deserves it”.
Which begs the question, how do you find the Domme who deserves it? And how do you become her money slave? “I look for someone that LIVES the lifestyle, someone that’s not doing it for profit but for whom profit is a bonus, they would dominate naturally in natural settings. I only serve one Domme at a time because it’s impossible to truly serve if you’re trying to balance multiple plates. When someone catches my eye I am persistent and direct. I do as they ask to get one contact or one meeting and once I do that I allow my personality to shine. I normally have to prove myself by an initial tribute because there are so many wankers online that make it difficult to serve when you are sincere, BUT those same guys that piss off Dommes actually help me once I’m in the door because they set the bar low”.
As Richard tells us, “Financial Domination means a few different things but the true meaning is you trust someone so much you allow them control of your finances”. Given the nature of the fetish and unless you have an endless stream of income, surely an integral part of the genre must be discipline? Discipline to make sure you do not live beyond your means in a bid to keep your Domme happy. Is FinDom like any other interest, i.e. something that needs to be budgeted for? “Yes it has to be, it used to be me just spending and spending because her happiness was that high to me and I wanted it often but when you realize you can not sustain that you take the necessary steps to fix it, but there have been many times where I overspent”.
A Quick Buck Or The Real Thing?
Originally Financial Domination was one of the many features that made up FemDom. But given the apparent ease of which to make a quick buck, a huge influx of younger, less experienced FinDommes have flooded onto the scene, giving it a whole new life of itself. FinDom is one of the fastest growing fetish genres of the moment, but does the wealth of new talent enrich it, or does it water down the authenticity of the genre? “Definitely BOTH, some of the new Dommes just haven’t found their desires in life because they were spoiled by their parents and when trying to date a younger male they don’t get that same attention. Some understand the power they hold as a female and love the power over men they have, but a good amount, maybe even the majority feel it’s an easy way to make a buck. They normally struggle because real subs or more so, real subs that have the money to spoil, seek authenticity and they (new Dommes) can not give it”.
And speaking of authenticity, Richard has something to say about his Domme, Goddess Jasmine, “The one thing I need to speak on is the ability to be able to relate, understand and truly own your slave that Goddess Jasmine has. She’s different than most because she’s really cool, she’s down to earth, smart, understanding but still demanding. She has a smile that would light up a room no matter where she goes but she also is an amazing person. She’s obviously very dominant and demanding but she still cares, I had a family issue and she checked on me unsolicited without a tribute needed. She knew I cared and I knew she cared. I can not stress to you how far being authentic goes.”
Like any successful dominant/submissive relationship, trust, authenticity and communication are key, and Financial Domination is no different. There are pitfalls out there, but there are also rich rewards to be had. Truth is you will know a genuine dominant/submissive relationship when you find one as Richard’s story illustrates. Whether your submissive nature is something you prefer to keep to yourself or whether it’s something you celebrate, don’t be afraid to be the person you are or to seek the relationships you desire.