Some people take the changing of bodies and genders and make it a permanent thing. CNN recently did an article of what it’s like to date as a transgender or trans man. Of course, changing your appearance and sex is challenging as we see from Devin Gutierrez, a straight man who’s never dated a straight woman.
From Tomboy to Trans Man
David grew up as a woman (his birth sex) and was more of a tomboy. In high school, he came out as a lesbian. Gutierrez knew something still was missing. It dawned on him that he was trapped in a woman’s body and he hated it. Gutierrez decided to transform at 30 and began taking testosterone. His life completely changed and for the better—he grew muscles, his voice dropped, and he grew facial hair. But one unexpected change was his sex drive going through the roof. It was at that point he really realized what it was to be a man.
Dating is hard, but even harder for trans people. Most dating apps only had a sex choice of male or female. Although Gutierrez identifies as a male, he needs to tell women there’s something he doesn’t have…a penis. Gutierrez had the top surgery to remove his breasts, but skipped the bottom half. And he couldn’t date a lesbian because Gutierrez was no longer a man, and this would mess with their sexuality, since they would in essence be dating a man.
What he’s looking for is a straight woman who is understanding and turned on by who he is. Gutierrez mainly prefers lesbian clubs, but the music can be loud and it’s had to let them know straight away he’s a trans man. Generally, the lesbians don’t hit on him, but gay guys do. If you saw him walking down the street, you would really think he was born a man.
What Gutierrez is going through isn’t unique for a trans man. All transgender people don’t get the surgery. Only 33% go under the knife to confirm their new gender. And, 21% of trans gender men don’t want the surgery. They don’t feel like it’s necessary part of their gender. Gender reassignment surgery isn’t always the defining moment of who you are.
Before his transition, Gutierrez met a makeup artist named Dee. When they met the attraction wasn’t there. After his transition, Gutierrez asked Dee on a date and she said yes. A month later, he asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes. Dee goes with her heart and not labels.
Dating might get a little easier. Last November, Tinder added more genders to their dating app, and they have had over 250k transgender matches according to their founder Sean Rad. More dating apps are also going to add more genders in the future.
Watch the Gutierrez’s interview and amazing transformation at: http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/17/health/heart-of-the-matter-dating-transgender/index.html.